Update content/blog/2026-02-05-usappweird.md

content/blog/2026-02-05-usappweird.md

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-title = "the strangeness of applying to us colleges"
+title = "the weirdness of Applying to US Colleges"
 date = 2026-02-05
 +++
 
-**context:**
-> i am applying to various foreign universities, including in the us. in the states there is a quirk where the vast majority of universities have a rule that if you’ve started studying at another university, you can only apply via the transfer procedure, where chances are notably worse. however, there are universities where you can refuse credits and apply as a freshman (amherst and dartmouth). my applications there are already submitted, while transfer applications are still being prepared
+context:
+> i am applying to several universities abroad, including in the us. the us has a specific quirk: most universities require that if you’ve already started studying elsewhere, you must apply as a transfer student—where the odds of admission are significantly lower. however, a few schools (like amherst and dartmouth) allow you to waive your previous credits and apply as a fresh-start "first-year." i’ve already submitted my applications there, while my transfer applications are still in the works.
 
-**my thoughts.**
+_my thoughts_
 
-all in all the applications already submitted took me about a hundred hours not counting two days in kazakhstan to take the sat. during that time about a dozen different essays were written, another 5 recommendation letters drafted, some 200 questions answered, every possible financial document dug up, and an unreal amount of random facts prepared. put simply: self-reflection happened
+all in all, the applications i’ve already submitted took about a hundred hours—not counting the two days i spent in kazakhstan just to take the sat. in that time, i’ve written about a dozen different essays, drafted five recommendation letters, answered roughly 200 questions, dug through every financial document imaginable, and prepared an absurd number of random facts about my life. in a word: reflection.
 
-applying to most other countries represents an attempt to tick many boxes on a specific list:
-- in russia you score n points on the unified state exam which are then used to cut you off by a very simple spreadsit. or you tick boxes next to the necessary olympiads
-- in germany or the netherlands you demonstrate that you meet their formal requirements regarding gpa (in some cases this is translated into numbers and also simply cut off by a spreadshit)
-- in japan they evaluate both essays and recommendations, but there is a simple formula published on the official website
-- in south korea you demonstrate certain facts (in some cases compensating for one with another) and you get in
+applying to most other countries feels like a checklist:
+- in russia, you get a certain score on the exam, and you’re either cut or accepted based on a simple spreadsheet. or you check the boxes for the right olympiads.
+- in germany or the netherlands, you prove you meet formal gpa requirements (sometimes these are converted into a local scale and, again, filtered by a spreadsheet).
+- in japan, they evaluate essays and recommendations, but there’s a clear formula published on their official websites.
+- in south korea, you present specific facts—sometimes compensating for one weakness with another strength—and you’re in.
 
-one way or another in each of these systems you can engage in simple and clear optimization. you can kill 1000 hours and score 100 points on the exam. you can optimize your gpa. you can write the necessary olympiads. you have criteria for grading essays
+in all of these systems, you can engage in straightforward optimization. you can grind for 1000 hours to get a perfect exam score. you can optimize your gpa. you can target specific olympiads. there are clear rubrics for your essays.
 
-but in the states it’s not like that. instead there is a principle they call holistic review. to describe what that is, it is their attempt to look at you in the most comprehensive way possible:
-- they don't set a specific minimum score for the sat
-- they don't need a specific set of magic words in the essay
-- they don't look for an ideal format of extracurricular activities
+but the us is different. they use a principle called holistic review. essentially, it’s an attempt to look at you from every possible angle:
+- they don’t have a hard minimum sat score.
+- they aren’t looking for a "magic" set of words in your essay.
+- they aren’t looking for a "perfect" extracurricular activity.
 
-instead they look for "spiky" students. not a room full of straight-a students from ideal families and best schools. they need those too. but they would prefer to also have a guy from hungary who can bring an interesting example of authoritarianism, someone from a poor family with an interesting view on art, someone becoming the first in the family to get higher education.
+instead, they look for "spiky" students. they don’t want a room full of identical straight-a students from "perfect" families and elite schools. they need those people, too, but they’d rather balance them out with a guy from hungary who has a unique perspective on authoritarianism, or someone from a low-income background with a fascinating eye for art, or a first-generation college student.
 
-of course you can "optimize" for this too. but only if in other cases it’s about carefully studying the machine and fitting into it, in the us this process is two-way: you open yourself up and allow the machine to see everything there. and "optimization" in this context means primarily the correct stringing of red threads and hanging notes between facts.
+of course, you can try to "optimize" for this, too. but while other systems require you to study a machine so you can fit into its gears, the us process is a two-way street: you have to open yourself up and let the machine see everything inside. "optimization" here means connecting the dots—weaving a "red thread" through your life’s disparate facts.
 
-you are telling a story. trying, oh cringe, to build a "personal brand". to do something that will make you specifically stick in the mind of that small committee reviewing every application.
+you’re telling a story. you’re trying—and yes, it’s cringe—to build a "personal brand." you’re trying to create something that will actually stick in the mind of the small committee reviewing thousands of files.
 
-but to tell that story you have to understand it well. instead of ticking boxes you try to compile a list of things you can brag about, and then analyze it, and thus yourself, to see how it comes together. what led to such diverse things being on your resume? why do you talk about computer engineering but study law? why do you build servers and play dnd in your spare time?
+to tell that story, you have to understand it yourself. instead of just ticking boxes, you compile a list of everything you’ve achieved, and then you analyze it—and by extension, yourself—to see how it all fits together. why does your resume look so eclectic? why are you talking about computer engineering while studying law? why do you build servers and play dnd in your spare time?
 
-yes, of course there is a very simple answer: you just like it. but you are expected to ask "why" further. why do you like it?
+the simple answer is "i just like it." but you’re expected to ask "why?"—and then keep asking "why?" until you hit something deeper.
 
-and in the end it turns out that besides spending a lot of time directly working on essays, questions and forms, you also reflect on yourself every day before bed, at lunch and in class.
+in the end, you aren't just spending hours on essays and forms; you’re spending every lunch break and every night before bed in a state of constant self-reflection. finally, you reach your conclusions, finish the essays, nudge your recommenders to finally upload their letters, and re-read your application for the 1000th time—eventually losing the "cringe" feeling of praising yourself. then, you hit "submit" in the common app.
 
-and so you come to some conclusions, finish writing all essays, nag everyone who needs to upload recommendations, reread the application for the 1000th time no longer feeling cringe at how you praise yourself. and hit the "submit" button in the common app
+but it doesn't end there. next comes the financial aid application. us aid is often "need-based," sometimes guaranteeing to cover 100% of your demonstrated need. this means you now have to open up the financial side of your life for the university to scrutinize.
 
-but the process doesn't end there: ahead is another separate application for financial aid. very often need based aid is provided, frequently guaranteeing full coverage of need. and that means now you will be occupied with opening up this part of your life for the financial aid office to study.
+after six months of self-praise and deep analysis of your identity and goals, you are suddenly plunged back into the heavy reality of daily life. you’re hunting down tax forms and bank statements, all while staring at the massive barriers between you and the future you just described in your application. it’s a very strange sensation.
 
-after spending the previous six months praising yourself and deep analysis of who you are and who you want to be, you suddenly start diving into heavy everyday life. preparing documents, looking for every possible paper, while thinking about the huge barriers between you and what you described in the initial application.
+conclusion:
+the "weirdness" of this process is that, under the guise of a college application, you end up exposing both your greatest strengths and your deepest vulnerabilities. you’ve essentially laid out a complete map of your life.
 
-it feels very strange.
+it is rare in daily life to create such a detailed, systematized document that captures your entire worldview. it requires massive mental labor—thinking through every detail without getting lost in the weeds—knowing this document will soon fly off to a stranger at a university.
 
-**conclusion:**
+maybe universities ask too much. we aren't used to opening up this much to strangers, and usually for good reason.
 
-the whole strangeness of this process lies in the fact that under the guise of applying to university you showed both your strong and vulnerable sides, de facto laying out a very, very complete perspective of your life.
+but at the same time, i don’t see any other way to account for "distance traveled." a simple set of test scores only shows a static snapshot of a candidate. it doesn't tell the whole story.
 
-it is very rare in everyday life that you suddenly lay out before yourself a detailed and systematized document showing a wide view of your life. for it you did huge mental work, spending a lot of time thinking about every detail, without diving into every hole, since then this document will fly off to a reviewer at the university.
-
-maybe universities demand too much. we aren't used to opening up so widely to strangers. and there are good reasons for that.
-
-but at the same time i just don't see another way to account for not just a random set of parameters that better or worse show the static state of an individual candidate, but a whole picture in which "distance traveled" is visible.
+it’s hard to argue that a 1480 sat score from a native speaker in chicago—who spent years in a private prep school, took the test four times, and was driven to the test center by their parents—is the same as a 1480 from someone who flew to a foreign country at their own expense, took the test once with jetlag in an unfamiliar city, and wrote it in their second language.
 
+i can’t think of any other system that does a better job of giving outliers a chance. i don't know if i’ll get an offer or not, but i definitely don't regret the experience.
 it is hard to argue with the fact that 1480 on the sat from a native english speaker from near chicago, who was prepared for the exam for years at a private school, who had 3-4 attempts and was driven to a familiar place by parents in the morning and 1480 on the sat from someone who had to fly to a new country at their own expense without the ability to work with a tutor and in an unfamiliar city with jetlag and knowing there is only one attempt, writing the same exam in a foreign language.
 
 i can't think of a different system that can give opportunities to outliers.